Saturday, July 14, 2007

Bereavement Without End-A Plea From Alienated Parents Everywhere

Bereavement Without End-A Plea From Alienated Parents Everywhere

The death of a child is indisputably one of the most incredibly horrible tragedies one can imagine. Whether by sudden accidental circumstance, or by a more lengthy cause as in illness, the loss of a child is undeniably painful to experience.Painful to the parents, parents to the family, and painful to anyone related to the child.

Never knowing the laughter of that child again or the tears, the joys and the accomplishements is a pain no parent should ever have to endure, and yet it happens. No one is to blame. It just happens. Imagine the same pain and the same sense of loss, with one exception-the parent is very much aware that the child is alive.

The effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome are very similar to the loss of a child due to accident or illness. For the parent who has been alienated from their child, the bereavement does not end. How do we know? Each alienated parent separately, and all of us collectively have lived with both the cause and the effect of Parental Alienation for countless years. Like a terminally fatal childhood disease, Parental Alienation rips the innocent child from your arms slowly. You witness the suffering. You witness the effects. You can feel the impending doom is inevitable, but you are powerless to do anything about it. You try remedy after remedy hoping that one will finally rid your child of the "disease". You work like a person possessed in order to finance the efforts, and when the final blow comes, it is emotionally devastating. You question yourself. You blame yourself for the loss. You tell yourself you should have done more. The very sad part of the story, is it is not unique. There are hundreds of thousands of children and parents affected by PAS.

We beg of those with the power to make people aware of this devastatingly horrible phenomena, to please do all they can to educate people on its effects, and to change the laws to protect the innocence of the children involved. Only then can we truly hope to keep children safe from the harmful side effects that are inherent with Parental Alienation itself. It's killing the spirit of family everywhere.

2 comments:

ellie clayton said...

The problem we face is that people are unable to recognize the circumstances in the right context. As an alienated mother I did not understand or grasp the dynamics that were taking place in my own home. The alienator is no different than a kidnapper. Our anxiety and duress would not be challenged if we were dealing with a stranger abduction. Not comprehending it at the time makes it understandable that it is difficult for others to identify what is wrong especially if they have no experience with behaviors of the alienator. The public needs education to identify the offenders.

ellie clayton said...

Part of the difficulty an alienated parent experiences is that the offending parent is not viewed in the proper context. They are viewed as a victim if the targeted parent tries to address the issues. They should be seen as no better than kidnappers who deny children the love of a parent. No one would challenge or judge the struggle of a parent in a stranger abduction and society is increasingly understanding the distorted thinking a child exhibits in defending an abuser. No one would devalue a parent who is under such enormous duress when a child is stolen out of their lives or the understandable depression they suffer. It is added cruelty and abuse to the targeted parent that we are judged harshly and as defective people that somehow deserve this. The fact is that is normal human reaction to such heinous abuse and the offender is the one who does not think right. It's time people are educated to see the signs and stop the abduction of children from loving parents. I wish I had been.